It's no secret that the more time goes on, the higher the prices of weddings become. Worst of all, the initial price is never the same as the final cost, meaning that the budgets you go into a wedding with, slowly become bigger and scarier. The average wedding in South Africa costs about R70 000, so it's no surprise that many couples go into debt before they're even married. The most common reason for this being that weddings are becoming increasingly image-oriented, and those who cannot create a luxury wedding experience, would rather not have a wedding at all. Putting aside all of the recent wedding controversy, weddings remain one of, if not the most important day of some couples' lives, so making sure it's as perfect as possible, is an understandable priority for some. But how does one build the perfect wedding, without entering your marriage with heaps of debt?
Here are a few things to bear in mind to plan a perfect, yet cost-effective wedding:
Consider the time of year - pick an unusual day and season
Summer weddings are idealised and made to seem so romantic, but what about a cosy winter wedding with red wine, a warm bowl of soup and full length coats? What about a wedding on a weekday or even a Sunday? Choosing a day or time of year that is considered "off-peak", will significantly decrease the cost of your wedding. It also presents the opportunity for you to make your wedding unique, quirky and fun. You can change the theme, change the cuisine, change the booze you have available. For example, if you were to do a winter wedding, out with the champagne and chardonnay, and in with the old fashioneds, the cab sav and the highballs.
Logistics and venue
Having your reception and your ceremony at the same place, completely eliminates any transport or other logistical costs. Even better than having one venue, is not using a venue at all. Think about all of your friends, family and friends of friends. Who of them has that garden you've always dreamed of sipping a morning coffee in? Start to think about holiday homes or loved ones' homes that could be perfect for your special day. You never know whose lifelong dream it could be to host a wedding in their back garden.
Food and drinks
Food and beverages is the heftiest expense for most weddings, but it is also an unavoidable cost. However, there are ways to cut down the costs, such as having one big cake, instead of per-person desserts. Or having sharing platters and snack-style food, as opposed to two massive courses for every individual.
Talk about it
Plan for a wedding with your partner, that meets your vision but is realistic, in terms of affordability. Set aside time for the two of you to sit down, decide who will pay for what, and where you might find financial constraints along the way. You need to know, before in-depth planning, how much you have available to spend and how many guests you plan to invite. It is also important to budget and plan for any unforeseen costs that may come up, as is typical during wedding planning. Once these things are in order, the fun can begin.
Release the idea of perfectionism
Do not create a list of things that you want, when you already know it is out of your financial reach. Instead, narrow down your list and ask yourself "What can I afford to spend on my wedding?" and then make your budget and list of non-negotiables according to that. Dreaming big, without realistic constraint, will only set you up for disappointment.
Do not borrow
Try your best to avoid borrowing money for a wedding - if the cost of your wedding sets you back financially, and places a strain on your relationship, was it really worth all that money?
However, weddings are a massive expense, which can often require a loan. Make sure that whatever amount you do have to borrow, is one that you can afford to pay back. You do not want to spend the rest of your marriage, paying off one day.
Use your community!
We all know logically that many hands make light work - so put that phrase to good use. Think about which of your friends or friends of friends have talents that could be perfect for your wedding. How about your aunt that happens to be a baker? Or your friend whose passion is photography and videography? Or your niece who is currently studying to become a make-up artist? Think of all of the different talents that your loved ones possess, and think of the ways you can utilise these gifts. If you have a strong community of loved ones, they most likely want nothing more than to contribute to your special day in some way, shape or form.
Marry the moment, not the debt
At the heart of it, a wedding is one day - a beautiful, meaningful, unforgettable day - but a marriage is a lifetime. The pressure to create a picture-perfect celebration can quietly snowball into financial decisions that follow you long after the last dance. The couples who look back on their wedding with the fewest regrets are rarely the ones who spent the most. They're the ones who stayed true to their values, leaned on the people they love, and built a day that felt like them.
So plan boldly, but plan honestly. Choose the details that matter most to you, and let go of the ones that don't. Borrow only what you can comfortably pay back. Say yes to your community's offers of help. And remember - a wedding doesn't need to be expensive to be extraordinary. The best gift you can give your future together is starting your marriage in a financial position that lets you build, rather than recover.
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